At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
