so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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