i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
