Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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