i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
