Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
