Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
