I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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