Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
