his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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