I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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