She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
