I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
