it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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