we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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