I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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