I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
nutella sex= disaster
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
