1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Pooping to opera.
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