either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
