? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
