Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
