I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
