but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
