It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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