I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
