Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
