Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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