Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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