He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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