i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
