be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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