what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
