My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
