and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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