He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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