brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
