I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
