Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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