Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
