Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i've created a new STD.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
