so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
