i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
