I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize