Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
