Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
