I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
