There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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