I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
