I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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