Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
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