your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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