no you cant smoke seaweed
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
