We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You're a waste of cheezeits
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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