i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
