i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize