the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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