Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
