Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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